Sunday, December 3, 2006

Bobby D's family shame

Ya know, things weren't always so good for the Dylans. There was a time when Bob's career was in a rut. And Jakob had yet to score as a Wallflower.

In fact, prior to his musical successes, young Jakob caused his famous pop an awful lot of grief by getting mixed up in local sex scandals. For reasons known only to his therapist, Jakob was an irrepressible exhibitionist. Given any excuse to do so, he'd reveal himself in public places.

None of which would have bothered Daddy Dylan all that much if it weren't for the fact that Jakob hung with various crowds of ne'er-do-wells who encouraged his outlandish, sinful public displays. And for reasons known only to Bob's therapist (though probably connected to his own religious fickleness), the group of Jakob's "friends" who most irked his Dad were an amateur company of Shakespearean actors sponsored by the Hillel House at a nearby college. When Jakob got naked with the Hell's Angels at a local pool hall, Bob was almost amused. When Jakob and a group of renegade Hare Krishnas mooned travellers at LAX, Bob was a bit disturbed, but hardly angry.

But when Jakob felt inspired to "augment" one of his thespian friends' performances with a long, smoldering strip tease demonstrating just "how beauteous mankind is" and what sort of "goodly creatures" populate this "brave new world," Bob was livid. Unfortunately for him, however, Jakob's impromptu display was a popular addition to the Bard's play, and the troupe asked him if he'd be willing to join the cast on a regular basis.

Jakob was thrilled, of course....but Bob was less than pleased. And when the company attempted to restage the play with Jakob letting it all hang out in the final scene, Bob arranged to have the local cops shut the show down for lewd and indecent behavior.

The press, of course, were all over the bust, and were especially eager to chronicle Bob's role in tipping the vice squad off. When a reporter from Rolling Stone showed up to ask Bob why he'd ratted out his own son to the cops, however, he angrily shot back: "'Cause he fuckin' tried a slow peel with the Tempest Jews again!"

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